SERIOUSLY? YOU GUYS UNFRIENDED ME ON FACEBOOK?
THAT’S BULLSHIT! WE’RE ROOMMATES!
DRAW-ING IN THE MUD WITH MY GIANT TREEEEEEEEEEE PENCIL!
IT IS MY FA-VO-RITE MUD WRIIIIIIITING U-TENSIL!
MA-KING A PICTURE FOR ALLLLLL OF THE FISHES,
THAT I WANT TO EAT ‘CAUSE THEY’RE FU-CKING DELICIOUS!
DO BE DO BE DOOOO. MUUUUUUUD PENCIL!
MMMM HM. OH YEAH.
THEY THINK THEY SHALL CROSS MY LANDS UNIMPEDED? TRUMPETING THEIR DECLARATIONS OF WAR AGAINST ONE ANOTHER WITH NO REGARD FOR THIS KINGDOM AND ITS PEOPLE?
I AM LORD SNOWEARS OF THE DAIRY CAVERNS, DEFENDER OF THE NORTH GATES, AND BY ALL THE CHEESE BENEATH THESE CASTLE FLOORS THOSE GODLESS UPSTARTS SHALL LEARN TO RESPECT THAT TITLE.
FUZZYMUZZLE, SEND WORD TO THE LESSER BARONS. THEY ARE TO MEET ME HERE BY SUNSET WITH EVERY ABLE-BODIED CUB AT THEIR DISPOSAL. QUEEN COLDNOSE AND THE MAD KING OF BERRYLAND ARE ABOUT TO LEARN WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF.
THOUGHT YOU COULD STEAL HIM AWAY FROM ME, DIDN’T YOU, SHELLY?
WELL YOU CAN’T, BECAUSE WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.
RUN ALONG HOME NOW. THERE’S NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU HERE.
OH, HEY. DIDN’T MEAN TO STARTLE YOU. WE HEARD YOU PLAYING THAT FLORENCE + THE MACHINE RECORD IN YOUR TENT.
CAN WE JUST HANG OUT AND LISTEN TO IT? WE’LL BE SUPER QUIET. WE’RE JUST REALLY BIG FANS OF HER WORK.
THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE!
STAPLED TO THE CHICKEN. I’LL HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT ONE. HA HA HA!
I MEAN HO HO HO.
WHATEVER, MAN. I’M LACTOSE INTOLERANT. YOU’RE SIPPING EGGNOG WHILE I’VE JUST BEEN POUNDING THE BOURBON. NEXT TO THE SUGAR COOKIES THERE SHOULD BE A PLATE OF CRICKETS. HOOK ME UP. SANTA’S DRUNK AND HUNGRY AS HELL.
Baby, don’t be like th-
SCREW YOU, LUKE. DON’T “BABY” ME.
I READ YOUR TEXTS.
WHAT’S HER NAME? WHERE DID YOU MEET HER?
